I have to be honest; I’ve been dealing with some self-loathing lately.
I’m about ten pounds overweight, and my clothes aren’t fitting right–as in everything is either too tight, or makes me look 5 months pregnant. Not exactly the look I’m going for, if you know what I mean.
I look in the mirror and want to cringe at what’s looking back at me.
I dread going places because I’m afraid others will see what I see, when chances are, they probably don’t.
overall, I’ve been pretty disgusted with myself.
The crazy thing is, as disgusted and unhappy as I am with myself, I’m realizing that I only have myself to blame for the condition my body is in.
I’ve totally fallen off the bandwagon with both my eating and exercising.
I started eating gluten again, which for me isn’t a good thing because it causes me to gain weight (quickly, i might add); it also causes inflammation in my gut, which means I’m constantly bloated. Not fun.
And yet, I’ve continued to eat it.
stupid, i know.
A couple of days ago, I came to the realization that it was time to make some big changes.
Not just because I’m unhappy with the way I look, but also because I want and need to be healthy.
The inflammation is causing me to have a lot of joint pain, so much so that my knees hurt when I walk up the stairs.
Not only that, but the chronic inflammation causes so much bloating that it’s affected my stomach muscles, causing my healed diastisis to open back up. (For more information on diastisis, you can click on the Fit2b box on the right sidebar).
this is all so frustrating to me, especially the reality that i brought it all on myself.
Up until a few days ago, I was talking (and worse yet, believing) trash to and about myself.
Rather than making the changes needing to be made, I was complaining and wallowing in my misery.
and the worse i felt, the more junk i ate. It’s really a vicious cycle.
And it’s one that I’m ready to put an end to!Towards the end of last week, i decided that enough is enough, and i made it a point to walk 2 miles a day on the treadmill.
I also started making little changes in my food choices; less junk food, and more fruits and veggies.
I know I can’t change everything at once, but I’m determined to continue making steps forward, rather than giving up when I’ve made a poor food choice or gained a pound.
Another change that I’m working hard on is the way I talk to myself.
I want to believe what I KNOW is true rather than going on what I feel.
Most importantly, I want to remember Who I belong to! I am a child of God, and I’m defined by His love for me, NOT by my weight! There’s so much freedom in that precious truth!
Do you struggle with body image? If so, what helps you to get refocused?